What makes some attorneys, financial advisors, coaches, and CPA’s stand out with their clients?

• Curiosity
• Catalytic questions
• Confidence

35 years ago, when I began my career as a financial advisor and became the Founding CEO of Abacus, confidence seemed to dwell in others, but not in me. For some of us, confidence is in our DNA, but for others, including myself, it is something that needs to be cultivated. I see confidence as the by-product of two essential skills:

1) fostering a sense of curiosity and

2) learning to ask impactful, catalytic questions.

If you want to increase your confidence, focus on mastering the first two C’s!

Curiosity, a skill we actively practice at the The Reset Retreat, is about shedding our presumptions and bringing a childlike sense of wonder to our client interactions. It’s about leaving your biases at the door and genuinely exploring a client’s enthusiasm for, say, purchasing a boat (even if you have misgivings about this).

A simple way to develop curiosity is to ask catalytic questions; questions that help the responder wake up or see something from a new perspective. These are questions that help your client imagine a bigger possibility. It’s key that you ask these questions with unbiased interest, rather than thinking you know the answer, and that you listen both with your logical mind and your emotional heart. Common sense or logic shouldn’t necessarily drive every financial decision. Some of my best financial decisions have had very little to do with logic, like my decision to begin speaking professionally, or my decision to purchase a 70-mile-range-electric car way before the technology was perfected. 

Here are a few examples of catalytic questions that you might keep in your back pocket. (While it’s useful to have some of these at the ready, it’s often more effective to tailor your questions to what your client is saying in the moment.)
Notice that none of these are yes/no questions.

1. How did you come to believe that? 
2. What is this chapter of your life about?
3. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? 
4. What are you learning from your current challenges?
5. What do you like/not like about your current situation and how does that influence your future decisions?
6. What wisdom about work and life do you wish you had received when you were younger? 
7. How could you share your gifts and superpowers more widely?
8. What does your intuition tell you about this?

Perhaps, the most important thing that allows you to ask memorable questions, is your presence - your ability to really pay attention to what your client is saying. These are the very skills we focus on in the The Reset Retreat. It’s a retreat from the mundane, a vacation from rumination, and the relentless pace of busyness.

Are you in?