Collaborate on the agenda: Tell the client, “I have an outline for our meeting today, but tell me if there’s a topic or priority for the agenda.” You’re signaling to the client that you’re receptive to their ideas, even if it wasn’t on the agenda. I also want to honor what they think is most important.

Train: Just as you do many reps at the gym, be willing to do many reps of noticing the moment you catch yourself rehearsing your response or finishing your client’s sentences as they’re speaking. Beginner’s Mind is an open, uncluttered mind, the opposite of a mind busy rehearsing. Just kindly recognizing, and interrupting the pattern, starts to diminish future rehearsing.



Ask questions: Ask questions that help the client get to their own answers. When the client does ask a question, offer a brief answer and ask if they want more. Remind yourself during the meeting to listen with a sense of wonder. There’s a well-respected meditation teacher from India, Nisargadatta, who said “knowing more is a path to ignorance and not knowing is a path to wisdom.” As we mature in our professions, we realize that there is so much nuance in how a client talks about retirement, for example. The more we can listen with an uncluttered mind and hear that nuance, the more likely the client will trust us to share beyond what they might normally share.

Mind Skills for Making Wise Decisions

According to Eva Krockow, professor of psychology at the University of Leicester, your brain is making more than 35,000 decisions per day, or over 12 million per year – that sounds stressful! That mind-boggling statistic was the catalyst for me to investigate how we, as advisors, can make less stressful and wiser decisions and how we can guide our clients to do the same. Yes – this is a trainable skill! – and we have at least 35,000 opportunities everyday to get better and help our clients, so let’s get started!

1. Cultivate Objectivity. Wise decision making depends, in part, on our ability to keep our emotions and fixed beliefs in check. One simple way to access greater objectivity is to ask yourself (or your client): how would you advise a colleague or friend with the same challenge? The more often you do this, the more you train your brain to access objectivity and the less you strengthen your biases. My clients and I love this exercise. I have come to see that clients really value advisors who empower them to make their own life decisions. When clients feel our increased objectivity over time, they naturally want to follow our modeling and be more objective themselves. Another way to increase objectivity is to recognize your pervading money beliefs and/or biases. For example, I have a belief that people should leave enough (but not too much) to their heirs. When I recognize my bias, I can compensate for it. One way I do that is by listening with a Beginner’s Mind to really hear their compelling reasons. I also ask myself: what if I listen to this client as an advisor who believes clients should leave all their money to their heirs?
2. Give Yourself Time. I have often made poor decisions because I created an artificial deadline. Now, I find out when a decision is actually due, so that I don’t assume a date. I also allow 24 hours before responding to an upsetting email, because I’ve learned that replying impulsively, in the heat of the moment, usually isn’t necessary or wise. Many times, the situation gets resolved before I even need to reply. With more time, our emotions are more likely to settle and less likely to result in an impulsive decision that we’ll regret.
3. Cultivate an Enough Mindset. This is a subtle but profound idea. When we’re feeling a sense of scarcity in terms of our success, our brains function less optimally. The first step in cultivating a mindset of Enoughness is to recognize our bias towards seeing that which is missing (the negative), rather than seeing what we already have. The more we train our brain to see that we’re enough as we are, the more likely we are to see the opportunities for growth. A simple practice of noticing one thing that you appreciate about yourself and a client, can help you move to this mindset of enough. Our minds naturally let go of tension, we stop over-striving, and ironically, we experience more sustainable success.
4. Gain Intelligence. When thinking through a decision, seek out feedback from people with diverse points of view. One of the mistakes I’ve made, for example, is not seeking enough feedback from my operations team before offering a new service. That’s also why our experience about what worked and didn’t for past clients is so valuable. I also encourage my clients to have a zoom call with all of their advisors before making big decisions.
5. Review. Recall your biggest decisions over the past 5 -10 years. Look back and recognize what went well and what didn’t, making sure to include successful decisions too! What are you learning about yourself?

The best part about training your decision-making skills is that it can be really fun. Many legal professionals attending my Mindful Advisor programs have found this to be one of the best things they have done for their mental health, practice, and client relations. The qualities of Beginner’s Mind and an Enough mindset won’t just make you a better decision maker, they’ll help you distinguish your practice and offer clients your most valuable asset — your presence.