A few months ago, I was downsizing to a smaller home and had to decide what to take with me and what to sell, donate, or give away. I stood looking at my round oak dining table—I'd bought it decades ago in Philadelphia when I was only 22. It looked tired, scratched up from decades of use.

My first thought was: "Well, it's probably time to get rid of this table. I have the resources to afford something much nicer now." It seemed like the perfect opportunity to upgrade.

But this table had been with me through so much—different homes, and stages of my career and family. My kids sat in high-chairs and learned to use utensils at it. I reflected on all the gatherings and conversations this table had witnessed. I felt genuinely grateful for its sturdiness, its versatility in being able to expand from seating 4 to seating 8, its role in bringing people together. So, instead of getting rid of it, I decided to have it refinished. It cost me $400, and I knew I made the right decision because I felt genuine happiness.

It wasn't that a new table was somehow out of reach—I simply no longer wanted one. My old table already gave me everything.

Numerous studies have shown that as we amplify our gratitude, something changes with our desires. This applies to everything. When you appreciate your car, the urge to replace it softens. When you are grateful for your home, the desire for it to be bigger often fades. (Of course, if you're still feeling strongly that your kids have outgrown your backyard—then that's probably an important signal.)

When you feel gratitude for something, it becomes much easier to discern what might simply be nice to have from what truly feeds you. 

Gratitude doesn't eliminate all desires. It eliminates the superficial ones, so the ones that actually matter become clearer.

Try this: before making a significant purchase this week, sit with genuine appreciation for what you already have. Notice what happens to your wanting. What dissolves? What remains? The desires that remain are worth paying attention to. 

May your spending come from gratitude and wisdom.